I really don’t know when the time will come where I look back to my life and all what I see is only what I didn’t do.
When I sit with myself now, I think about this moment and to be honest I’m afraid of it, I will have no answer, well to be specific I’ll only have one answer but not a too convincing one, it will be “I had no time or money”, but I know it’s not right, that I will be lying to myself.
I’m not talking about achievements or accomplishments or getting a big wealth or stuff like this, I’m talking about simple things, like enjoying being on this earth, doing a lot of things that you think, if you step back, that are doable, just like when you’re in the middle of a riddle or a problem and you decide to step back to capture the big picture.
I’m a nature lover, beach lover, I love being there in the nature and teach my kids at least the things I know on how to survive in the wild, only for the sake of it even if they don’t need to, but I want to extend or convey this knowledge to them, I love to travel, see new things, meet new people, learn about this world I live in, learn more languages which is one of my dear hobbies, but instead, I only traveled to a couple of countries: Dubai, Saudi Arabia and Turkey before residing in Canada, and that’s about it, in 36 years.
I love to have my own business and I know that I can succeed when I do, but that’s WHEN I do, I’ve always been an employee, never entrepreneur and this is because of fear, you know the fake security one holds on to when he has a family, he knows it’s fake but makes him feel safe, fake safety mind you, because we all know no one is safe in anything, and when things are meant to happen they do no matter what precautions you took.
There are a lot of things that I would love to try but never did, for the same reason mentioned above, this shameful one, things like: Skydiving, Bungee Jumping, zip lining, skiing, snowboarding, surfing, rowing my boat down the river…. things that are really doable and a lot of people tried them, but I didn’t yet, but planning to, one day.
As I grow older every day, I just wish that moment doesn’t come, or, when it comes, to have an answer that makes me proud, something like “ I did this, I did that, I went there and there and there, I enjoyed my life” and say it with a shining face and a big smile.