I wish it doesn’t come

I really don’t know when the time will come where I look back to my life and all what I see is only what I didn’t do.

When I sit with myself now, I think about this moment and to be honest I’m afraid of it, I will have no answer, well to be specific I’ll only have one answer but not a too convincing one, it will be “I had no time or money”, but I know it’s not right, that I will be lying to myself.

I’m not talking about achievements or accomplishments or getting a big wealth or stuff like this, I’m talking about simple things, like enjoying being on this earth, doing a lot of things that you think, if you step back, that are doable, just like when you’re in the middle of a riddle or a problem and you decide to step back to capture the big picture.

I’m a nature lover, beach lover, I love being there in the nature and teach my kids at least the things I know on how to survive in the wild, only for the sake of it even if they don’t need to, but I want to extend or convey this knowledge to them, I love to travel, see new things, meet new people, learn about this world I live in, learn more languages which is one of my dear hobbies, but instead, I only traveled to a couple of countries: Dubai, Saudi Arabia and Turkey before residing in Canada, and that’s about it, in 36 years.

Contemplating

I love to have my own business and I know that I can succeed when I do, but that’s WHEN I do, I’ve always been an employee, never entrepreneur and this is because of fear, you know the fake security one holds on to when he has a family, he knows it’s fake but makes him feel safe, fake safety mind you, because we all know no one is safe in anything, and when things are meant to happen they do no matter what precautions you took.

There are a lot of things that I would love to try but never did, for the same reason mentioned above, this shameful one, things like: Skydiving, Bungee Jumping, zip lining, skiing, snowboarding, surfing, rowing my boat down the river…. things that are really doable and a lot of people tried them, but I didn’t yet, but planning to, one day.

As I grow older every day, I just wish that moment doesn’t come, or, when it comes, to have an answer that makes me proud, something like “ I did this, I did that, I went there and there and there, I enjoyed my life” and say it with a shining face and a big smile.

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You Are Not The Purpose

 

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Imagine that with me, a man and a woman decided to get married, and the normal marriage in their community has to eventually result in one or many offsprings, and since this couple is a part of this community and thinks in the same way, after 9 months, guess who came to life, their son.

Paul is a man in the age of marriage, his parents are too excited to know who their boy will choose as a partner and are too excited to see a grandson or a granddaughter, Paul did exactly what was expected from him, he married the woman he loved, and after a while he got a daughter and his parents became so happy but unfortunately his mom was eating a steak on new year’s eve, choked and passed away.

Mary was married to John for the last 8 months, they were not planning on having kids, and wanted to enjoy the marital life together first then make a family later, but from another hand, her in-laws were so worried about why she was not pregnant yet until now, and they thought she had a problem that’s hindering her. She wanted to prove them wrong and decided to get pregnant, so she did, she won.

Leila, her neighbor, always saw people carrying their babies and children happily and laughing with them and cuddling with them and wanted a baby for herself too, just like Mary, she had no partner and was not too excited to have one though, but she knew about a sperm bank in the neighborhood, she used their services, got pregnant and gave birth to her son, she was too thrilled the realized the dream of her life.

What I wanted to say is, you, this offspring, were not the purpose of your parent’s marriage, you were the result, they didn’t bring you to life because they were too kind, they did it for themselves first, because they needed to prove their fertility, to get their parents grandsons, to go with the flow and be “Normal” just like any other married couple in the community or to fulfill a need like becoming a mother or any other reason you can think of, they didn’t know how you will look like and who you will be and decided to give you birth accordingly, they actually didn’t.

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It’s us, Men.

2012-03-14 13.07.50It’s us, men, this is how we do things, when we need something we do one of two: we either make it, if we can and have the needful capabilities and resources or we buy it.

If we want to go from a place to another, and since we can’t make a car all by ourselves and we really really and desperately need to do that, we buy it no matter how high the cost would be, we take a loan to do it.

We walk into an electronics store for example because we need to listen to the TV without getting disturbed by whatever is around us, we buy a headphone to do that, that simple, bottom line, we buy things because they do something, we buy them because we have a need for something to happen and we get that other thing that makes it happen, and once this latter stops doing its job that it’s supposed to do and we bought it for, we replace it, this is how our brains work, in everything, I mean EVERYthing.

Yes, you got that right, even in our relationships, we get into a relationship because we have some need to fulfill, be it a romantic need, sexual, having a family, raising kids….etc, and we are ready to really do our best to get this need fulfilled, even if we have to take a loan to fulfill it, just like we did with the car previously, but guess what happens when we give up on this other half when it stops “functioning” the way it should … exactly!! and if not literally, morally.

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We’re Already There?

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I read this story in another language and wanted to translate it to English and share it with you because it’s really inspirational and eye-opener.

A tourist went to Mexico one day and was walking on the beach, He saw a bunch of fishermen selling their beautiful fish that He highly admired and he asked them:

Tourist:
How long do you spend fishing?

Fishermen:
Not too long

Tourist:
Then why don’t you spend more time and fish even more?

Fishermen:
They answered that what they fish is little and is enough for them and their families

Tourist:
And then what do you do afterwards?

Fishermen:
Then we sleep till noon, we fish a bit, we play with our kids, we eat with our wives, we visit our friends at night and we sing songs….

Tourist:
I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!
You have to start fishing for a longer time and what you gain from
The additional fish you save it to get a bigger boat!

Fishermen:
Then what?

Tourist:
With the bigger boat and additional money from the fish you will be able to buy a second and third boat and get yourselves a big fleet and then you can Sell your fish to big companies or you will even be able to have your own company, then you will be able to
leave this small village and move to the capital, or Los Angeles or even New York and you will then be able to proceed with your gigantic projects.

Fishermen:
And how long would that take?

Tourist:
About 20 years, or maybe less, could even be 15 years

Fishermen:
And then what?

Tourist:
(smiling) when you have such a big and successful business you would even be Able to get into the stock market and start gaining Millions!!

Fishermen:
(Astonished) Millions? Really? And then what?

Tourist:
Then you can retire in small village on the sea shore, sleep till
noon, fish a bit, Play with your kids, eat with your wives, visit your
friends at night and sing songs….

Fishermen:
With all our respect sir, but this is what we are doing now, then
what’s the Point in spending 15 years of our lives living in pain and suffer? – END.

A lot of us spend their lives wasting their energies, underestimating a quality time they spend with their families for a vanishing luxury, thinking that this will give him and them” Happiness”, but what happiness will it be when you are too old to enjoy it?

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The Wicked Word

sautThe Ego of the human being urges him to refuse being taken “For granted”, it makes him consider it an offense towards him, and it’s because of it many couples discontinued their relationships, it caused frustration between friends and on the professional perspective, it caused and still causing customers to breach contracts with you and all those mentioned repeat the same expression: “Don’t take me for granted”.

For the irony of it, this particular word is very dear to my heart, I like for instance to be taken for granted, I feel special if I was considered that, I mean someone who considers you that way is taking you for one of his group, family, or people, or whatever his side could be called, and for me, this is great.

For me, not to be taken for granted is considering me just like anybody else to you, just any other person you met in your life and had some stuffs to talk about and some unimportant time to share, and this could be maybe because I’m the type of men who believes in friendships, real friendships and likes to make a lot of them and would like them to continuously prosper and develop forever, maybe.

But I really don’t arrive to understand how one could ask his significant other not to take him for granted, especially the married ones, well, then who is to be taken for granted? Who is the one, you, as an individual, would rely on in your life and would rest assured he will never fail you if it’s not the one you’re sharing your bed with!?

Or the best friend, the childhood friend who asks you not to take him for granted and he always made you feel that he is your loyal buddy and will never let you down whatsoever and he is the one there in all your childhood moments and adventures, if not him then who?!

At the end of the day, I know it’s a personal opinion, and that everyone has his point of view on this specific subject but I only wanted to highlight on the bright side of it and to raise the flag on people, like me, who welcome being taken for granted and that No, at least they don’t consider it weird, but maybe for them you are the weird!

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She is a lot

 

 

She told him she loved him, She loves him

She Said that his existence in her life is a bless

She told him she can’t live without him

She prayed to God to keep him safe for her and for their kids

She told him he is the king of her heart

She told him you’re my love

She told him you’re the best thing that ever happened to me

She told him you’re the light of my life

She had a picture of him smiling

She showed it to everybody

She’s proud of him

She thinks he’s her Hero, this is what she said

She ran to him when He came back home,

She hugged him, I saw her

She didn’t care, as if I wasn’t there

She was sure he loves her more than anything,

She told me, He confirmed

She told me that I don’t do what I’m expecting

She was not expecting anything from him, or

She did and He did and I didn’t know

She said She can’t express her Love to me

But how could she do to him?

She says she loves me, She said she doesn’t

She said she maybe partially does

She confused me, I’m still confused

Because she never showed a photo of me, smiling

She never said I was her hero or the light of her life

I think she never prayed to God to keep me safe for her and the kids

She never ran to hug me when he was there, and didn’t care

She said I’m normal, just like anyone

She said she never fell for me, I was just like the rest

He feels special of course, He should, I envy him

I feel anonymous

Did She Lie? Is She still?

She has a pride

She doesn’t talk, but does she feel?

She does I think, but She doesn’t say

But I’m confused, I cannot tell

It hurts not to know how she feels

I trust her but not her feelings

She will stay always with me

She always did

She rejected him, and him

She accepted me

She escaped with me

I hope she says the same to me

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If I go..

I sometimes would like to know
What would happen if I go

Would there be sadness all around?
That I’m missing and can’t be found?

Or would happiness prevail?
As all attempts to find me fail?

Are people around because they care?
Or they’re only there for some affair?

Do they care for the very me?
My parents, friends and family?

Or all what counts is what you do
And only what they get from you?

Would they miss what I really Am?
Or no one really gives a damn?

Would some of their problems end?
When I no longer be their friend?

And Would they cheerfully say
Thank God because he’s gone away?

Or would they be so sad and blue
A sadness that is really true?

I only think of that sometimes
This is why I wrote these rhymes.

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