Unique, just like the others!

It’s really not fun to know that you are “ just like anyone else”, everybody thinks he is special, even a bit more special than the others, he just thinks he’s unique, however, not any unique.

Day and night people never stop working hard on being normal, they don’t want to be ODD, they don’t like to be “Aliens” they want to be seen as normal people, just like the others, however, they don’t like it when you tell them they’re normal.

This contradiction is really inexplicable, do you want to be Unique? Or do you want to be like the others? because each of both is the very contrary of the other one, OK, you want the others to see you normal but with super powers that make you super-normal, or unbeatable, or something they couldn’t reach so you became superior to them but at the same time, so normal that they can’t catch anything on you that could make them criticize or question your superiority.

Those who are like that, in my opinion, have a serious problem in their personality, they are not strong enough to be themselves, they want only the bright and shiny side of them to appear but they want to keep the imperfect and blemished side of their personality in the dark, very well covered because they can’t stand the confrontations and criticism.

The worst of all that is that those people are all over the place, they’re a lot, especially in the societies where honoring the traditions is always advanced on the feeling and well-being of the individual, where the family endeavors to keep a clean flawless image In front of the society regardless how that would reflect on their son, daughter, wife, mother or any other member of this family.

Traditions, in my opinion, have to be subjects of revision, innovation and flexibility to keep the families and societies attached to each other, to keep them loving each other and caring about each other because they know that their traditions are always there to keep a certain class and respect to each of them so they can really honor them from the bottom of their hearts because they reflect their beliefs and identity rather than keeping those traditions unchangeable as if they were a holy book.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mr. Oriental

Nobody did it to you, you did it to yourself Mr. Oriental man, you wanted to be the MASTER of your family, you wanted to be the dominating alpha male,  your word to be obeyed and you wanted to be the only funds generator to your family, congratulations, Swallow it dear!

Because you didn’t want your mother, sister, daughter or wife to work, as other men could possibly look at them and harass them, you disabled the efforts and productivity of half of your community, only because of your “shame” perspective you made all the years she spent on learning to realize her dreams and to take her community and country to the next level and compete with the rest of the world, you made her stay home, look after your kids and house, dedicating her time to enhance only the place where you both live, and only make sure her kids are in a good comfortable condition to carry on with their own lives, what about hers?, she cannot do anything by herself, she can’t go anywhere you don’t allow, she cannot work unless you were kind enough to allow her, in some places you don’t even allow her to drive and you leave her to some driver or a taxicab to take her to her destination while you are enjoying your arrogance and celebrating your manhood over her nerves and lifestyle, without caring about her feelings, but only about what the “others” would say if you don’t act like they do towards their wives, daughters or sisters.

  Image

 What you did without knowing sir, is that you rendered Mrs. Oriental a dependent creature, and as a reward to your idiocy those women are now throwing all their burdens on you, whatever they want they ask it from you, whenever they see something nice and wanted to buy it they nag on you because you have the cash, whenever they needed money it’s from you, wherever they want to go it’s you who has to take them, groceries is your task, family vacation is only your responsibility Mr. ATM, as a matter of fact you could consider yourself the MASTER but you’re in reality a BANK, Carrier, Driver, Body Guard and many other positions that vary from a family to another.

You made it even hard on your fellow young ones that when it’s the time for a girl to get married she comes only with her clothes, that You bought to her before the wedding that you paid its expenses to a fully furnished house that only you rented or bought and only you furnished from the pin to the biggest price of furniture with your own money only, keep the ignorance going my dear.

What’s really frustrating over and above all that, is that you are claiming that these are the teachings of your religion, regardless what it would be, but the truth is that they surely aren’t, they are only the sick traditions you are struggling to keep while the world is moving on ahead of you, but just because you’re so lazy to catch up you are standing in your place wishing the world to return back in time and join you, but here’s the surprise, it won’t, and you will always stay behind until you decide that it’s time to move, and hopefully this doesn’t take you so long, you’re running out of time man!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Leave him.

Listen to me, if he will fall to his ears with every woman he meets, why living this hell? Let him go, you deserve better, it could hurt in the beginning, but later on you will feel so at ease.

You don’t have time to keep on following him, nor to spy on him or keep on opening his PC to see with who he talked or his phone to see the last number he called or which girl sent him a message, let him go!

Why bothering yourself and let your Obsessive-compulsive disorder work 24/7 to make sure your relation is still on and that he is not taking breaks from it? Quit it, and quit any attempt to any relation in the future anyway because like you can see, the world is only of two genders, no spaceship will come anytime to carry all the women on board and leave earth with only men and you for you to be able to sleep at night and be sure he is not cheating on you, and maybe this too will not be so guaranteed because you are so insecure that you would think that he would become a BI only to cheat on you!!

Image

What is this? A relationship? Built on what? Love? You mean that thing that makes us all the time longing to meet our other part and stay with him the longest possible to an extent that we are ready to get married and live all our lives with him? Or her? Because if this is what we are referring to, there will be no need for all that hassle of spying and any other detective activity to trap him cheating on you, because someone who loves you will not cheat on you unless he has another perception of love that doesn’t meet yours, or you have another definition that the one he has and you both will have to sit and talk.

Unless your relation is built on love, that has to include trust, you both don’t have to worry about anything, if it’s built for example on sex only, this will be ok, you and him will sleep together and then after that no matter what happens you will still have your session, if it’s on materialistic purposes, you as well in this don’t have to be afraid they are cheating on you as long as you are getting your pay check at the end of the day, or be it built on any other purpose like those who get married to get a citizenship, this too has to be a hassle-free relationship because the purpose is the passport.

But for those who want a serious relationship, a marriage, based on love and trust, I think that they have to be realistic, to realize that we are creatures who like to evolve, and in order to do that, we have to acquire information from any possible source, to gain experiences, to be exposed to an infinite amount of temptations from all sorts so we can learn to adapt, many adventures will have to be taken, feelings of all kinds will have to be felt, love, friendship, sorrow, happiness, loss, enthusiasm, depression and many others, and that consequently, we will get to a point where we will be teaching what we learnt, to whoever is interested, and all the mentioned will not be only to one gender, the same one of your partner, so if your partner is not to the level where he or she can go through all this life and keep you, only you, in his heart, you better search for someone else who does, wasting your life on non-sense spying and searching after your partner or on someone who is not aware of your value would be the biggest mistake you would ever commit.

I see it like this, if your partner loves you, really does, you don’t have to worry, and be sure they will always be yours, not because they are doing you a favor, because they can’t help it, you live in their heart and soul, just like they do too, and once you become suspicious that they could go, only because someone else around would make them, then it’s the time for them to go, they are not the one you want to spend your life with, it’s as simple as this.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

I wish I listened.

Image

On August 1st 2007 I had my Job offer, to go work in Saudi Arabia, I was so excited, I was dreaming, I was engaged and this new job was my guaranteed key for a good life in the near future, I thought to myself that it won’t take a long time before I marry my love and go work abroad and live together happily ever after, as simple as that, I mean I have the offer, signed!

I bought lots of stuffs to take with me, you know, a brand new life in a foreign country,

I was packing, when my father came in to my room, he watched me folding my clothes and putting them in the bag, he was asking me if I forgot anything, if I bought this, if I bought that, and I was answering him, then he looked at me and said:

 “Look son, there are three things you have to be aware of while you’re there:

1-      Trust Nobody

2-      Don’t tell your intentions to anyone

3-      Don’t talk about anyone to anyone.”

I nodded when he said this of course, I acted politely, but I was thinking: “How old school!”, I mean this is the cliché that any father would say to his son, not to trust the others, I thought could it be real that parents still think this way? Not to trust anyone? Not tell anyone anything?

But I just didn’t give his words any weight, I only considered them words coming from a caring father, I surely appreciated them but I honestly thought they were “over”.

7 years later, just now, taking a look back to my life, to see what I learned from it, I found quite a long list of valuable lessons actually where those three my father said to me were surely among them but guess what! They were the softest ones, the “low risk” ones, my list was full of tougher lessons, here are some of them, it contained:

1-      Nobody likes the good for you more than they do to themselves, no matter what.

2-      Nobody deserves to be SO special as people would surprisingly sell you for a return.

3-      Nobody should know your plans even the ones you consider too close.

4-      Secrets are spread very fast, keep your secret for yourself

5-      Trust no one but your wife, although this is not applicable for all the couples.

6-      Don’t expect anything from anyone unless you will be ok if they let you down because they surely will, but a few of them.

7-      Never under-estimate yourself as others are never better than you, everybody has flaws but some are really good hiding them.

8-      Never lie, the lie will haunt you until it hunts you.

So if there is any youngster reading my blog right now, I know you will find what I’ll say next repeated but it’s ok to read it again but this time try to believe it.

while you were wearing diapers and running in the house after your small ball, your mother and father were out there struggling in life and learning lessons, some of them are easy and the majority was very tough, it sometimes did cost them some dignity, they just bit the bullet to secure a good living for their family, thus, be sure that whatever they say will not be only coming from their mouth as a lecture to feel superior to you and to play the parenting role, they do it because they don’t want you to pay the same cost they did to learn what they are giving you for free, so take this gift and use it wisely and don’t do like I did once and had to struggle for 7 years to learn what was told to me without any pain just because I thought I was smarter.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What an invitation!

Image

We’ve been always victims of a very famous expression such as ” work and live abroad“, when such a sentence usually brings a sort of joy and hope with it, however it seems that we are not taking the sequence of the words in this sentence into consideration, we just take it as a whole and actually deceive ourselves, we do that to us, the sentence stated it clearly “work and live“, work comes first, then live, which means that the main point in this sentence is inviting you to an opportunity to work, then when you finish working, you live!

How awful!, I assure you, I’ve been there and I am totally aware of what I’m talking about, a feeling that will haunt you throughout your stay in this new destination, regardless of “home sickness” feeling for some who don’t like staying away from their family and homeland, but I’m talking about another one, the feeling of instability even if the new location is the most stable one, but you will not feel stable as you will always consider yourself “on a mission” unless you will have the chance later on to somehow become a part of the place you are going to if you decide to, or if you will get the opportunity of staying there as much as you like if you liked the country , but if this is not the case, then this is what I’m talking about in this blog.

Planning doesn’t usually work in these situations, especially if the country you are moving to is known to be a rich one with high incomes, greed will sneak to you, your preset plans will fade away, you will forget that you made a decision of staying only for a couple of years there because of the earnings that you are making, you will get yourself used to the new uncomfortable lifestyle especially if the culture of this new country is totally different than yours, and with time you will think that everybody else in this world is living uncomfortably just like you however they envy you for the chance you had getting high earnings, and then you will force yourself to feel happy because you don’t want to be ungrateful, you’re stuck!

Image

Unless you make a corrective action, you really are stuck my friend, unless you step back and look at the life you planned to have once upon a time and the one you’re living now, you will just be busy adapting, you are living yes, but temporarily, your work has to come first like the invitation says, it will be your priority, your sacred thing, the reason of your staying in the said country as well as the generator of this high income you are earning and the “safety valve” to maintain your new adopted lifestyle that you got used to and not thinking of changing it one day, everything related to work not only you, but your family will consider it sacred too, you will avoid confrontations with your boss, your colleagues or anyone in your work place, you will always make sure that part is always smoothly going only because you want to maintain your new way of living, any conflict in your work will have an influence on your house, any problem you would encounter at work will echo in your relation with everybody around you as you will consider it a threat as because your work now is the main interest, no matter how hard that will be on you and how stressful and unfair, and no matter how it will affect your health physically and mentally, you will force yourself to tolerate it under the slogan of ” life is hard”.

You can’t decide to do anything spontaneously, first you will need to check if your decision will run against your work times and policies then you will have either to stop it or to work it around, or if this decision will fit in the ” leave schedule” set by your management  especially if the country you are working in holds your passports in their custody once you go in, making you unable to travel anywhere out unless you have the approval of your sponsor, your family will have to tolerate that too, they will have to wait and see if what they would like to do is acceptable by your work standards or not, bottom line, you will hold your life a hostage to your work only because of the greed you allowed to creep.

is this the life you want to live? is your income more important to you than anything else? have you ever thought how the years of your life will pass? have you ever thought that when you look back to your life you will only remember your work achievements and failures? that your CV will be the most important document to you? ever thought that the rhythm of your life will be the same as your work’s? that you will always be dependent? think again, Is this an invitation you would like to accept?… think again.

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Looking forward

ImageAs I surfed the internet today, on facebook, I read a good proverb “ ignoring your passion is slow suicide, never ignore what your heart pumps for, mold your career around your lifestyle not your lifestyle around your career“, and I was really glad for the encouragement but then, I got angry!, I mean yes, it’s true that this proverb is encouraging, motivating to the right direction, but wait a minute… what for God sake does my heart pump for? No clue, at all.

It’s been a while that I’m working hard on growing this feeling of freedom inside me, this feeling of independence, feeding it with readings, facts of life and with logical thinking so it could become bigger and stronger than the fear that is prevailing inside from the bad that could happen to my family if I ever decided to go wild and break those chains of the daily routine, blood sucking and creativity draining job, but then what?

After 10 years of daily work starting from 8 am ending at 6 pm many things have changed, when the very short weekend becomes your only hope of being yourself once every week,barely, that you do not know anymore what lifestyle you should adopt, many things turn to become extremely the opposite, after such a long time many beliefs and fundamentals change, I forgot some dreams I longed to realize one day, they have actually changed they’re no longer the same,I even forgot most of my passions, I know that something should be done and that I have to follow my passion and that I have to quit this routine if it’s annoying me that much but first, I will have to look deep inside, to dig down and try to retrieve some of my old passions and put them to test under the surveillance of my new and mature beliefs to see if they still match or not, or maybe this digging will lead me to conclude a new passion that I wasn’t aware of.

I know I’m not alone and many others think the same, but I’m really looking forward to this day when I really find the thing that makes me so happy while doing it that I’m ready to do it even without a return, just because I love doing it, and because it’s a part of me that I can’t stop being, and the thing that I do even in my free time, that thing that Confucius once said about: “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Eagle

Image

 

He couldn’t believe what he saw with his eye

The vast and wide and wonderful Sky

He always dreamed of giving a try

To flutter his wings and fly so high

Where there are no bounds and limit is a lie

He felt so happy the cage is now open

And he was so sure of what’s going to happen

He thought it was a matter of a jump out

But he never thought that someone would shout

He was not alone back there in his cage

He had a family and some friends in rage

They started convincing him to stay

And never to give up his life astray

And that staying where he is seems the safest way

And to postpone his jump to some other day

They said it was too good to be true

And that something bad could happen to you

You may not find a place to stay

Or food to eat or at least some hay

And that your young ones will need to play

A hunter could shoot you and you pass away

And that you will lack logic in whatever you’d say

Because the very blue sky could turn to grey

And then you regret the jump you made that day

The eagle felt sadness in his little heart

And thought this wasn’t really smart

To be the reason for his family to suffer

Only because he wanted to flutter

So he said to listen this time to his friends

Maybe the sorrow inside him ends

And decided to live on hope that one day

The door of the cage would give him a way

To the vast and wide and beautiful sky

Where he could try his wings and fly

To flutter his wings and fly so high

Where no bounds exist and the limit is a lie.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | 1 Comment

It’s all about the idea

I always thought, since I started reading self improvement books, that there are quite a lot of authors that are really smart and geniuses and thought of myself like ” My God!, I still need a really lot of improvement till I become like the least of them”.

Almost a year ago, while making some researches on the internet about a certain subject related to religion, I discovered some doctor who changed my whole perception about life, he talked about the religion and included some facts of life and science in a way that is very convincing, and regardless of his name as it’s not our subject, I thought that this man is kind of a really existing Superman, I mean at least to me, a wide knowledge of many aspects of life, good looking, not so aged, so I was really impressed.

I started sharing links of his videos from youtube on my facebook and twitter whenever I watched something he talked about that was interesting, a friend of mine liked the videos and started as well sharing some of them on his timelines, however, sometimes this doctor said things that I didn’t agree with, and I discussed that with my same friend to see if he shares with me the same thought, I was like ” to be honest, while I was listening to the doctor in this video, I didn’t like when he said this and I didn’t like the way he said it, he looked a bit arrogant”, and I have to say that I really was a bit disappointed when he did that, my friend was wiser than me, he said: ” who cares how he behaves?, what matters is that you learn from him the way he thought of the subject regardless of his behavior, no one is perfect”.

Image

Indeed, I became more at ease when I started following this above theory in everything I read or listen to from people all around, and I stopped thinking that when someone says or writes a good thing that he has to be doing it entirely and believing in it with all his might and I stopped to ask myself why doesn’t this guy take his own advice?, although I still listen with passion to this doctor’s lectures and speeches and continuously learn from him, however, now I do it more wisely as I don’t expect from him to be a flawless human being, I just listen to his thought and take what I need from it and build on it in my own way.

When I look nowadays to the bookshelves in the bookstore of our neighborhood, I understand that not all the authors are adopting or practicing what they wrote in their books, I mean there will be surely some of them who have to be doing that to at least show authenticity to their books because a smart reader will not even come close to a book, for example, where the author is telling him that he could make him rich in 7 days while he is himself known to be broke in the reality,  but not all the writers have to be doing it, like those who their thoughts are intangible and you can not be sure whether or not they are following what they taught us in their books, however, we should understand that they’re only people who had some thoughts or/and experiences they wanted to share with us so we could profit from, adopting this way of thinking in all aspects of life will decrease our high expectations from the others, and will consequently minimize the disappointments we face in case we didn’t get what we waited for from them, this is indeed another way of ameliorating and improving our lives and making them a bit easier, another kind-of burden could be lifted off our shoulders.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

I’m less than 30 day old?

Image

lately, whenever I remember a good song, or a good movie and try to remember which year they were issued, I found out that most of them are 20 years old now, Huh? but why? when did that start to happen for God sake?

I’m only 33 however I already have a lot of memories that are 20+ year old? but where did those years go?, I probably lived them, or not?

It happened that few days earlier, I was watching an Indian movie, where one of the characters, a doctor, was telling his patient who’s diagnosed with cancer and will die in 3 months, that he has to make each and everyday of those 90 days unforgettable, telling him that if he looks back in his life, and tries to remember it, he won’t remember but those days that were different, the days that left a mark on his life, be it a good or a bad mark, “they will be how much?” he asked him, ” three? four? Ten? Thirty? those are the days you lived, the rest of them are as if you didn’t live them, they’re gone.”

If We look all back to the life we lived so far, I bet we won’t be able to remember 30 good days, we can remember the days we decided to change, the day we traveled for new opportunities, our wedding day, our divorce, the death of someone, the birth of each of our children, and those all will be few, where did the other days go?

As we live, we always remember ourselves when we were young, we thought getting a family and having children of our own and sending them to schools and feed them and buy them clothes is still very early to think about, but how scary it is when we look at it now, here we are, we are married with children, we got them to schools and we are taking care of their well-being and life utilities, but now it’s different, before, we didn’t know that the long journey we thought about is in reality a short one, and that days are running so fast, but now we know, we are sure that having them graduated and married and out of our houses for theirs is only a matter of time, a time that is really going faster than we ever thought it is, and what are we doing about it? we can’t do anything actually, we learned that we have to live the moment and like the song says: ” Que sera sera, whatever will be will be”, we have the experience to do it now, we know that becoming the elderly man or woman, we always thought we will never become because we are young and powerful and will always be, because the youth is the youth of the heart, is a fact that is only few days away, maybe we will be young at the heart but hey, we will surely have the wrinkles like the old people we always encounter and yes, we will have this weak body just like they do, they were young like us before, they thought the same, but here they are, this is an inevitable fact my young friend, ask Grandma.

In a certain age, it varies from an individual to another based on the opportunities and circumstances, we stand to see where we are now in our life, we recall what we encountered, remember some of the obstacles we faced, and the pain we went through, the tears we shed, we remember the victories, the good times, the success, all the factors that led us to what we are now, and we think of tomorrow, how will it be? will it be like the other normal people we met in our life? or will it be unique? will people notice I’m there? or will I die just like anybody else in our neighborhood or group of friends and will be only a memory in the heads of my children and family who remember the good things I told them once and the good manners I taught them and forgive the bad things they knew about me and that’s it?

We decide actually, and I learned that age is not but a number, as long as we walk, breath, eat, talk we can learn and we can change, and yes whatever our age is we can realise our dreams, if we have a certain fear or restriction we have to find a way to break it, not to show the others that we can, but for ourselves, to prove to ourselves that it’s only us who control our lives, it’s us who decide how to live and where, the fears and the weaknesses of others don’t have to affect us, we have to turn a deaf ear to them and we go on with our vision, we make our own path, even if others don’t see it right, we do, and if we fail we will know why and we will learn and go on chasing our dreams, this is what I decided to do with my life, my tomorrow.

Life stages, physically, are almost the same for everybody, and this is a fact we can not escape from, but what matters is not that, it’s not the shape, it’s what’s inside it, the brain, the feeling, the wisdom, the activeness, the good will and the good manners, what matters is how we influence the others, what we teach them, what we do to make their lives easier, how we help them, how we help our own families, our own children, what we teach them about life and how we guide them to behave toward their brothers and sisters in humanity no matter what race or religion they are, this is what counts at the end, and this is how people will remember you, if you leave a trace in their lives, if they benefit from your own life to ameliorate and enhance their own, and that’s about it.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Quit!

Image

Many times I say to myself: ” That’s it! I have to take this tough decision, I can’t stand it anymore, I’m suffocating” , but I don’t.

though I watched a lot of TEDx talks and read a lot about this subject of facing your fears and choosing life over wealth and I’m really convinced with it that I even lecture it to all the people around me, however, fear is holding me back, I have to admit it, the lack of courage could be the greatest obstacle in the way of any freedom seeker, it makes him tolerate more pain than he could handle just to be on the safe side, which is in reality not safe at all.

Insecurity and fear of potential poverty and need for the others are the beasts that stand in front of us, between us and our freedom, they use our lack of faith and courage to destroy us, and keep us slaves of our need for stability that we hold very strongly without any rational reason, as future is never secured to any of us, no one knows what tomorrow will bring to him, not even the next hour, happiness, sorrow, sadness or satisfaction, no one would ever know, however we just stick to this fake stability and we think with our small brains that this current situation with all its filth and rust would be better than the unknown future if we ever decide to give up on it.

I’m pretty sure and full of faith that all what we earn is predestined to us, and that no one will take more or less than it, but did I take this decision? No, will I ever? I don’t know, because I’m like a lot of people who have families and they are afraid of making decisions and putting burdens on their family members that they can not tolerate, a selfish decision that could make his family suffer just to realize a dream of his or to set himself free, is that a wrong way of thinking? maybe, but will I take the chance of trying it? I’m not sure I’m that strong.

In the same spirit, I watched a small video of a man telling the audience that “they’re going to fail at having a great career” and he was very right in every single thing he said, so I decided to share it with you, enjoy it and watch it to the end, it really changed some of my thoughts, however, I’m still not sure whether or not I will take the decision.

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment